I was so excited to jump back into the Monday surf class after the weekend that I had trouble falling asleep when I laid down Sunday night.
I was awakened at 5:00 AM by a tropical storm with thunder so loud that it shook my roof and the dishes in my sink. I woke up and read in the commons, waiting for class to start. Fifteen minutes before class, one of the instructors walked in and said “Bro, our van was stolen last night.”
Someone stole the surf van and trailer that we use to get ourselves and the boards to and from the beach. They stole it right off the street in front of the surf school within view of a security camera. Our instructors were baffled. “This sort of stuff never happens here,” one of them said.
So we couldn’t surf yesterday (we couldn’t have surfed anyways, because the storm was so intense that it filled the ocean with debris and potential pissed-off river crocodiles).
I was disappointed, but some good came out of it! I used the unexpected time for a writing day and started on the personal essays that I’ll be submitting to The Medium Writer’s Challenge.
Here’s today’s question: How do you deal with unexpected changes in plans? What do you do when uncertainty rears its ugly head and reminds you that you have far less control than you thought? What meditations/quotes/ideas have helped you through those times?
I can’t wait to hear what all you lovely people share :)
I loved all your articles. I agree we should have a plan B. However, in certain occassions one has to decide what to do in a rush and try to be calm in order to take the right decision.
A quote or affirmation that really helps me is that - I only have to worry about the things in my control, these things are my mind and my actions to some extent. So when adversity hits, I remind myself that I am in control of how I perceive it
I was never a planner growing up; I kind of flew by the seat of my pants. Then I had kids and poof I was a planner...not a great one by any means, but plans meant control. And when plans went downhill so did my control and mood. After talking to a therapist and seeing "We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." every week I gave up making plans set in stone and I allowed myself to have as many plans as there are letters in the alphabet. The world is full of possibilities. I don't think I have ever reached Plan F in any situation so my life hasn't been total chaos ... even with my most out of control students. Can you guess what Plan F is? hahaha
I still get bummed when things don't work out the way I planned, but I know what I have control over and what I don't. Good music and a productive sweat session help too to get me out of the "Well hell! That didn't work" funk.
I don't know who said that first but I remember who said it to me. Sue was my deputy at the time and she had a coffee cup with that mantra carved into the front. Her coffee cup underscored a lifetime of Plan Bs we had both lived through; most small, some huge and we often laughed about our sometimes circuitous route to where we were. But her putting it out there for us to see every day made me appreciate how flexible, durable, and resilient our species "gets" to be. We can think our way out of many things, and we can "reframe" our outlook when things go wrong.
As an old guy, I've had many opportunities to spend time whining about what didn't go right, but at some point I came to appreciate the fact that almost nothing comes off exactly as planned. That's one of life's beautiful things, I think. Our capacity for adaptation is huge if we are open to adaptation and it underscores our need to bring the right attitude to every event. That doesn't mean we won't hurt; it doesn't mean we won't temporarily envy those more fortunate; and OK, it's a poor replacement for Plan A sometimes.
But staying open to the possibility of needing Plan B to tweak or replace Plan A gives us an emotional and mental opportunity to overcome disappointment. It also defeats one of our species most troubling characteristics, the tendency to compare ourselves to the "lucky ones". You know, those folks who APPEAR to never need Plan B but in realty, are so good at it that they never miss a beat.
Trust me, everybody needs Plan Bs. The grace with which we adapt gives us ALL the opportunity to overcome adversity and learn to build better Plan Bs, some of which may actually have a better outcome than Plan A.
Bobby, I love what you've said and I agree 100%! Plan B is something that I've been terrible at my whole life, however. I don't usually even have plan A, which causes me all sorts of trouble.
Sadly, I think I'll die as a spontaneous improviser. The world is too much fun! I do, however, have a huge amount of admiration for all you planners out there.
To do my best for my employees which are a sacred trust for me, I constantly have to look beyond the current success (or challenge) and shift my balance to stay calm and collected.
When organizations get big enough, you get a deputy to help keep you in line ;-). So I'm not a sheriff, but I have been accused of being a cowboy. This is not necessarily a compliment in business, but probably has something to do with liking what you lay down here.
Well, you're not that far off. I do wear cowboy boots with my suits and I wear a cowboy hat when I'm in my Jeep.
Colorado is one of my favorite places. I lived out there when my son was young; taught him to fly fish and have many wonderful memories of that special outdoor-loving culture that seems natural in CO. With luck I'll be headed back out there this fall.
Haven't been to Costa Rica yet but it's on my list. Good luck on getting your project lined up!
I lived in Colorado Springs (1990-1997) but spent every possible moment walking about the mountains, climbing, or fishing. I took courses at U of C and stayed up where I could see the Flat Irons. I spent quite a bit of time up in Longmont and Broomfield on business and drove through Lyons all the time when I could get up the Fall River Road. There were some neat little cabins (pretty primitive in those days) up above Estes Park where fishing was fun. Small World.
I loved all your articles. I agree we should have a plan B. However, in certain occassions one has to decide what to do in a rush and try to be calm in order to take the right decision.
Hahahaha unfortunately, Ivonne, this is usually what I find myself doing... I'm terrible when it comes to having plan b beforehand
A quote or affirmation that really helps me is that - I only have to worry about the things in my control, these things are my mind and my actions to some extent. So when adversity hits, I remind myself that I am in control of how I perceive it
Hell yeah Neeru! I love that 🤩
I was never a planner growing up; I kind of flew by the seat of my pants. Then I had kids and poof I was a planner...not a great one by any means, but plans meant control. And when plans went downhill so did my control and mood. After talking to a therapist and seeing "We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." every week I gave up making plans set in stone and I allowed myself to have as many plans as there are letters in the alphabet. The world is full of possibilities. I don't think I have ever reached Plan F in any situation so my life hasn't been total chaos ... even with my most out of control students. Can you guess what Plan F is? hahaha
I still get bummed when things don't work out the way I planned, but I know what I have control over and what I don't. Good music and a productive sweat session help too to get me out of the "Well hell! That didn't work" funk.
Oh wow! That's such an interesting journey, Kristin! From spontaneous to planner and back again. We should make a film!
I love the idea of "plan f." I sincerely hope you never have to reach that level...
We’ll see down the road if this is my hero’s journey hahaha… and a film?? Sure…why not? I’ve got room in my alphabet plans for that. :)
You’re welcome! :) Joseph Campbell is one person I would love to share a pizza and a bottle of red with in heaven… if they let me in.
Take a deep breath
Hahahaha this helps everything, doesn't it? I forget to breathe in each intense activity I do... Climbing, surfing, whatever!
Absolutely.
"It's all about Plan B."
I don't know who said that first but I remember who said it to me. Sue was my deputy at the time and she had a coffee cup with that mantra carved into the front. Her coffee cup underscored a lifetime of Plan Bs we had both lived through; most small, some huge and we often laughed about our sometimes circuitous route to where we were. But her putting it out there for us to see every day made me appreciate how flexible, durable, and resilient our species "gets" to be. We can think our way out of many things, and we can "reframe" our outlook when things go wrong.
As an old guy, I've had many opportunities to spend time whining about what didn't go right, but at some point I came to appreciate the fact that almost nothing comes off exactly as planned. That's one of life's beautiful things, I think. Our capacity for adaptation is huge if we are open to adaptation and it underscores our need to bring the right attitude to every event. That doesn't mean we won't hurt; it doesn't mean we won't temporarily envy those more fortunate; and OK, it's a poor replacement for Plan A sometimes.
But staying open to the possibility of needing Plan B to tweak or replace Plan A gives us an emotional and mental opportunity to overcome disappointment. It also defeats one of our species most troubling characteristics, the tendency to compare ourselves to the "lucky ones". You know, those folks who APPEAR to never need Plan B but in realty, are so good at it that they never miss a beat.
Trust me, everybody needs Plan Bs. The grace with which we adapt gives us ALL the opportunity to overcome adversity and learn to build better Plan Bs, some of which may actually have a better outcome than Plan A.
Bobby, I love what you've said and I agree 100%! Plan B is something that I've been terrible at my whole life, however. I don't usually even have plan A, which causes me all sorts of trouble.
Sadly, I think I'll die as a spontaneous improviser. The world is too much fun! I do, however, have a huge amount of admiration for all you planners out there.
Were you a sheriff? Where are you located?
Thanks Aaron. I love your work.
Actually I'm an executive leader in Virginia.
To do my best for my employees which are a sacred trust for me, I constantly have to look beyond the current success (or challenge) and shift my balance to stay calm and collected.
When organizations get big enough, you get a deputy to help keep you in line ;-). So I'm not a sheriff, but I have been accused of being a cowboy. This is not necessarily a compliment in business, but probably has something to do with liking what you lay down here.
Where are you located?
Oooh interesting! I've never heard of an executive leader before...
That's hilarious that you've been accused of being a cowboy... I'm picturing a business-suited-up Dirty Harry type character now.
I'm from CO, but at the moment I'm down in Costa Rica, chasing a new project!
Well, you're not that far off. I do wear cowboy boots with my suits and I wear a cowboy hat when I'm in my Jeep.
Colorado is one of my favorite places. I lived out there when my son was young; taught him to fly fish and have many wonderful memories of that special outdoor-loving culture that seems natural in CO. With luck I'll be headed back out there this fall.
Haven't been to Costa Rica yet but it's on my list. Good luck on getting your project lined up!
Oh my gosh, you sound like the best cowboy boss ever!
Where did you live in CO? I grew up in Lyons!
I've gotta say, Costa Rica is the most awesome country I've ever been to!
I lived in Colorado Springs (1990-1997) but spent every possible moment walking about the mountains, climbing, or fishing. I took courses at U of C and stayed up where I could see the Flat Irons. I spent quite a bit of time up in Longmont and Broomfield on business and drove through Lyons all the time when I could get up the Fall River Road. There were some neat little cabins (pretty primitive in those days) up above Estes Park where fishing was fun. Small World.
Now I REALLY want to get to costa Rica.
So glad that you decided to Wendy :)