Hello hello everyone! I’ve made it to Sunny Costa Rica and I’m launching exclusive content next week, so I’m feeling preeeeeeetty good :) Before we begin, a reminder:
I’m launching exclusive content! YAY!!! My first exclusive post is going to go out on Sunday, August 1st. Also, based on the feedback I received from the Google Form I sent, I’ll be offering a private server where readers can chat and meet each other, and if enough people sign up, I’ll be opening up the opportunity to write paid guest posts once a fortnight.
For the next seven days, I’m offering 40% off for one year. This means that if you sign up now, it will be $3 per month or a flat rate of $24 a year for exclusive content. After August 1st, it will be $5 per month and $40 per year.
If you are honestly, truly in a challenging financial place and you still want to join, no worries! Send me an email and I’ll add you to the community, no questions asked.
Today I’d like to talk about community. As I’ve been researching over the last few years, trying to understand human happiness, there’s one thing that comes up over and over again that makes human beings happier than anything else.
The feeling of belonging to a community.
So today I’d like to ask:
What communities have you felt most accepted by? What communities have you felt least accepted by? Why do you think that is?
Leave a response in the comments below. I look forward to hearing them! This question makes me so curious :)
Something I have recently learned about myself (within the last six months) is that I tie the level of intensity of what I am doing to whether or not I feel that I am successful. Regardless if I can physically see results or even if the results are tangible. Unless, within the process, I am bleeding, sweating, or crying (figuratively speaking…well kind of), I am not doing enough. This wasn’t only happening in one area of my life. I discovered it on my health journey but really it was in every area of my life. It was in my devotional life. If I would read devotionals on an app and I wouldn’t read a plan unless it was at least 5 days long. In my mind, if the devotional wasn’t at least 5 days long than I wasn’t really committed. I found it in my home life, my work life, in relationships, and my ministry life.
The communities that I felt most accepted by were communities that needed me to do. Produce. Make things happen. All while doing my own life too. That leads me to wonder if I really felt accepted or if it was more about performance. I feel like I want to say that I’ve never really felt accepted. For so long I have always felt like I needed to do more. That’s not true though. Not entirely. I have friends. I know they accept me for who I am as I do them. I’ll be resting with this for a little while longer. Thank you for a great question to ponder!
Thank you for pondering, Tina! It's tough to think about these kinds of questions.
I was just having a conversation with a fellow American in the surf school, about how we're realizing just now the degree to which we've been played against the people around us from a young age by American society. How we've learned, as you have, to tie success to performance because that's what we've been taught from day one. Hard work is important, but it's also important to ask ourselves what we're working/suffering in service of. If it's a social hierarchy or cultural competition? I would say it's time to switch paths.
"Let your head climb back down through your throat and into your body so it can see just how good you look when you're not compared to anything."
Most accepted by would be my fellow arts/music teachers. Least accepted by would be the "other subjects" teachers...haha just kidding...maybe. But since that is a past life I would say I'm still searching for the next accepted by community. I'm not too worried about it tho. I get along great with myself.
I've never felt as supported and welcomed as my 12-Step community. It's like a huge extended family where I can find love, respite, and fellowship literally all over the world. Where have I least felt accepted? My family of origin, where gaslighting, stonewalling, and indifference were the norm.
I'm so happy that you were able to find peace and acceptance outside of your genetic family, Lucy! That's one of the most beautiful things about this life and this world we share :)
Hi Aaron. Being part of an expat community when I lived in Saudi was brilliant. Everybody watched out for each other and there was a real sense of community, almost like being part of an extended family. I hope you're keeping safe on your travels and I am thrilled to be a subscriber to The Well Lived Life. You were one of the very first writers that I connected with on Medium.
Amazing! I have set lots of my short stories there that I publish on Medium and my top earning one, Double Trouble, is doing really well. It was a fascinating place and I have some wonderful memories of my time there.
Something I have recently learned about myself (within the last six months) is that I tie the level of intensity of what I am doing to whether or not I feel that I am successful. Regardless if I can physically see results or even if the results are tangible. Unless, within the process, I am bleeding, sweating, or crying (figuratively speaking…well kind of), I am not doing enough. This wasn’t only happening in one area of my life. I discovered it on my health journey but really it was in every area of my life. It was in my devotional life. If I would read devotionals on an app and I wouldn’t read a plan unless it was at least 5 days long. In my mind, if the devotional wasn’t at least 5 days long than I wasn’t really committed. I found it in my home life, my work life, in relationships, and my ministry life.
The communities that I felt most accepted by were communities that needed me to do. Produce. Make things happen. All while doing my own life too. That leads me to wonder if I really felt accepted or if it was more about performance. I feel like I want to say that I’ve never really felt accepted. For so long I have always felt like I needed to do more. That’s not true though. Not entirely. I have friends. I know they accept me for who I am as I do them. I’ll be resting with this for a little while longer. Thank you for a great question to ponder!
Thank you for pondering, Tina! It's tough to think about these kinds of questions.
I was just having a conversation with a fellow American in the surf school, about how we're realizing just now the degree to which we've been played against the people around us from a young age by American society. How we've learned, as you have, to tie success to performance because that's what we've been taught from day one. Hard work is important, but it's also important to ask ourselves what we're working/suffering in service of. If it's a social hierarchy or cultural competition? I would say it's time to switch paths.
"Let your head climb back down through your throat and into your body so it can see just how good you look when you're not compared to anything."
-Buddy Wakefield
Most accepted by would be my fellow arts/music teachers. Least accepted by would be the "other subjects" teachers...haha just kidding...maybe. But since that is a past life I would say I'm still searching for the next accepted by community. I'm not too worried about it tho. I get along great with myself.
Very interesting! "Between communities" is a label that I haven't thought of that I'll apply to myself immediately :)
Yes! I might have to borrow that between community.
I've never felt as supported and welcomed as my 12-Step community. It's like a huge extended family where I can find love, respite, and fellowship literally all over the world. Where have I least felt accepted? My family of origin, where gaslighting, stonewalling, and indifference were the norm.
I'm so happy that you were able to find peace and acceptance outside of your genetic family, Lucy! That's one of the most beautiful things about this life and this world we share :)
Hi Aaron. Being part of an expat community when I lived in Saudi was brilliant. Everybody watched out for each other and there was a real sense of community, almost like being part of an extended family. I hope you're keeping safe on your travels and I am thrilled to be a subscriber to The Well Lived Life. You were one of the very first writers that I connected with on Medium.
Thanks so much Rosy! I had no idea you lived in Saudi! What was it like?
Amazing! I have set lots of my short stories there that I publish on Medium and my top earning one, Double Trouble, is doing really well. It was a fascinating place and I have some wonderful memories of my time there.