Why I Have Not Said (and Will Not Say) “Ok Boomer.”
There is nothing new, tragic, or abnormal about the fact that we, as millennials or younger, are misunderstood by the baby boomers.
In the first chapter of The Demon-Haunted World, Science as a Candle in the Dark, Carl Sagan (The OG king of science education) mentions that the oldest long-form essay in history dates from ancient Sumeria. It's an older man lamenting that the younger generation is going to be the downfall of society.
This is one of the oldest cliches in the world. The old don't understand the young because they've forgotten the foolishness of their youth. The young don't understand the old, because we don't know what it's like to be looking back on a life we already lived, not ahead trying to figure things out.
Whatever is happening right now looks huge to us, and minor to those who have already trod the path.
And yes, it is not the same path.
And yes, the difference between our world and the post-WWII industrial complex powerhouse that the Baby Boomers grew up in is huge.
So what?
Go ask your parents if they felt perfectly understood and accepted by the people two generations above them when they were rollerblading around wearing neon or whatever idiot things they did when they were silly and young. On the flip side, check up on your favorite coffee shop hipster DJ in 10 years, and see how much the world has changed them.
Chances are, they've bought into the wheel of life and cars and kids and lawns and fences as hard as you have. Even though they said they never would.
We do silly things when we’re young because we're young. We look back and laugh when we're old unless the things we did were so stupid that we didn’t make it to old age.
Those of us who grew up in the age of information get that information from a myriad of sources. The things our elders say can seem silly when measured against the digital wealth of all human knowledge. The old seem less wise now than ever before, simply because we as young people don’t need their wisdom as badly. So we treat them like they have nothing to offer.
We run around telling everyone to “speak their truth”, then refuse to listen to them if that truth doesn’t conform to our modern ideals. We block a whole generation off from validation of experience simply because that experience doesn’t validate our experience.
Let's check in with our old friend, empathy. For almost all of human history, before we made information a binge-able commodity, it was the role of the elders to shepherd the young to adulthood. Now, we have the internet.
Can you imagine how this feels? To live a whole life full of failure, laughter, success, and loss. To watch friends and family die and reach the point where you are supposed to be able to help the next generation and have them throw your experience back in your face with a snarky "okay Boomer."
We ask people to “understand that their experiences are valid.” and yet, when it comes to people two generations before us, we do not afford them the same respect.
Do you think you're confused in the modern world?! Imagine how the baby boomers feel.
Just because your grandmother has never known the agony of being ghosted doesn't mean she can't teach you about heartbreak. Just because your grandfather hasn't fully accepted your political ideals doesn't mean he has nothing to teach you about being an upstanding human being.
We forget so easily that this is what progressivism is. It's the struggle against the old guard, the radical new ideas becoming less radical. It’s our struggle, as young people, to move the world forward. But there have to BE old ideas for there to be progress. The darkness and the light have to be in balance.
There are universal historic human experiences that people don't have to be lived exactly the way we have as millennials to be qualified to speak on.
Ask your Grandma about love next time you see her. Compare her advice to what your favorite influencer says. Chances are, Grandma's advice is much wiser and more applicable.
To be young is to be misunderstood. To be old is to misunderstand. There is nothing new under the sun. Be humble enough to admit that you haven't seen it all.
Hating the older generation and feeling misunderstood by them robs you of life satisfaction by giving you an unjustified martyrdom complex.
Stop saying “ok boomer.” You cannot change history, and mocking those who don’t understand you accomplishes exactly nothing.
Think about how you want to live your own life so that when you’re old, those who come after you will respect you. Start there. It’s the only thing you can control.
I’m 44 starting a new job with others talking about plans and goals for when they reach 40. Good for them! I don’t see myself as an age and so respect and empathy is what should be priority always. Some people turn grey at 20. Some people never own up to themselves. Respect and empathy. Always.