No, Travel is Not a Magic Pill. Yes, It Can Make You Happier

But you’ve got to do it right

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I’m wise, so I’m changing myself.”

-Rumi

In my lifetime, I’ve seen our attitudes towards travel change dramatically, morphing from “it’s dangerous out there!” to little phrases on Karen-worthy live-laugh-love-esque signs like this one:

Let me tell you from experience, traveling to a different place is not going to fix your problems and make you a better person.

You are going to do that.

That quote “find yourself by getting lost” contains only a kernel of truth. I suppose they shortened it, because “Getting lost makes you realize that you’re still carrying all your bull**it, but now you’re not in your home environment surrounded by endless distractions, so you may end up buying a journal and dealing with some of this crap that you’ve been carrying around” Isn’t as meme-worthy.

Though I love the idea that the best version of you is sitting right now in an ashram in Goa, eating raw lentils and transcending society with their enlightened mind, just waiting for you to travel and discover them, this is sadly not the case.

The best version of you is already inside you, waiting to be discovered. Not location-dependent.

Travel is Not a Product. Neither is Happiness

That’s what’s so harmful about our modern travel narrative. It keeps you in a consumerist, discontent mindset because a better version of you is always waiting around the corner if only you can get somewhere else.

Now please don’t think I’m trying to discourage you. I’ve been to 20 different countries now, and nothing I’ve ever done has been more formative.

I will tell you, I have yet to “find myself” (and not for lack of trying). He wasn’t in the Australian Outback, nor the Colombian jungle. At this point, I assume he’s in my parent’s basement eating saltines and watching TV. Damn! The one place I haven’t checked.

You will never “find yourself” because that’s not how the journey works. You don’t get to stop learning. There’s nothing left to do if you find yourself!

It’s a Journey of Inches

Every time you go somewhere new, every time you experience a new culture, you get a little bit more open. You learn about yourself and who you could be through the lens of other cultures. You get stronger.

Especially through the inconveniences that you experience.

I have become less anxious from realizing that even though it may cost money and time, there’s always another train coming if you miss one.

I’ve gained street smarts from almost getting pickpocketed.

Most important of all, I’ve become more empathetic. I’ve watched people who don’t speak my language see me struggle to communicate that I’m lost, then decide that I’m not worth their time, and walk away from me.

I know now that I will never do that to a guest in my own country. Each of these lessons has given me a new perspective and made me stronger, but none of them have introduced me to myself.

Finding Yourself Would Be Boring

I shudder to think what would happen if I met myself. I’d probably stop learning altogether, gain a bunch of weight, and park myself in front of the TV for the rest of my life.

Traveling is not magic. It’s a lot like yoga or meditation, rather than a flashbulb explosion of your true self. It’s an incremental self-improvement program, where your instructors are people from cultures vastly different from yours.

You realize that the way your country does things is not, in fact, the way to do things, but a way of doing things. You find humility and new ways to approach the problems you’ve been beating your one culture mindset head against.

You realize that you do not, in fact, need a giant house full of expensive gadgets that save tiny amounts of time, but that your culture has brainwashed you into wanting this depression-breeding nightmare.

You’ve Got To Blaze Your Own Trail

Travel is often very challenging, but the rewards are huge (resorts and cruises don’t count. Anything where you are just a sunbaked piece of luggage does not offer mental rewards).

“The ordinary traveler, who never goes off the beaten route and who on this beaten route is carried by others, without himself doing anything or risking anything, does not need to show much more initiative and intelligence than an express package”

-Theodore Roosevelt.

My man Teddy Roosevelt has it right. Your objective is to experience, not have someone else script experiences for you. On my first backpacking trip, when I was in Paris, I walked everywhere. I remember one day at the Arc de Triomphe, I met an American family. They seemed to be enjoying the beauty of this monument, but almost as soon as I started chatting with them, the father said “Time to go! We’ve still got to see the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, and I already paid for the day!”

After they left, I sat there another hour, reading my book, appreciating the structure and its architecture, and watching the traffic circle me. (A bird crapped on me, but I do still count the experience as a win).

I still can’t believe that this lovely family was letting stress rule their vacation. They treated the city of Paris as a series of accomplishments waiting to be completed, not something to be appreciated.

I Have a Confession To Make

I never saw the Louvre. On the day I planned to go, I made friends with a lovely French woman in my hostel, and spent the whole day at a cafe with her, drinking wine, and talking about what it means to be French (and even indulging in some of her hand-rolled cigarettes).

I can always go back and see the Louvre, but a day spent increasing my cultural understanding? Learning? I’ll never regret that.

Travel is not a magic pill. It’s not going to tidy your issues or fix your mental health. However, if approached with an open mind and without a rigid schedule, it can make you more empathetic, and much more open to deviating from the plan.

I know many of us are itching to get back out there. When this pandemic is over, I am headed straight off to new horizons. However, this is the perfect time to see how much you can learn without travel.

This is the time to become a better human being without the idea that a different place will fix you.

This is the time to increase your empathy by recognizing the diversity within your own communities. The lessons you learn from travel are not exclusive to travel. They can be learned simply finding by someone completely different from you in your own community, and asking them about their lives.

Now get out there and improve.