Imposter. That’s a harsh word, isn’t it? It makes me imagine an old warty-faced witch, pointing her crooked finger at me and screaming it at the top of her lungs, exposing to everyone present that I do not actually belong at The Online Writer’s Masquerade Ball.
This summer, I started writing articles to potentially publish. Then the relationship I was in started to go south. I spent four months not writing or publishing anything.
Who am I to give anyone advice? I reasoned. I can’t even fix my own relationship!
I finally started publishing at the beginning of November. Momentum abounded for a while, until this weekend when I fell through a trapdoor into a boiling cauldron of impasta sauce.
This is something that comes up in my life whenever I try to put myself or my work out into the world. My mind tries to defend me against the pain that could come with failure and rejection. Whenever I start seeing a little bit of success in something, Imposter Syndrome sneaks its tentacles out of its slimy hole and grabs me. It’s been happening since I started writing essays in high school.
Luckily, I’m older and wiser. I have systems in place. At the beginning of this weekend, Imposter Syndrome paralyzed me. So I wrapped my hands, slipped on my gloves, and climbed into the ring to write this article.
Here are 5 steps to take when you need to get in the ring with Imposter Syndrome.
1. Remind Yourself That You’re Not Alone
The greats struggle with Imposter Syndrome as much as amateurs. People who have paid for cars and homes with their passions often feel like imposters. This is a feeling shared by anyone who creates.
In The Journal of Behavioral Science’sdelightful study by Jaruwan Sakulku and James Alexander, what goes on in an Impostor Syndrome sufferer’s head is laid out beautifully:
“If Impostors have over-prepared, they believe that their success is due to hard work. Those who initially procrastinate, likely attribute their success to luck. Impostors also hold fixed beliefs that accomplishment through hard work does not reflect true or real ability.”
Has this ever happened to you? You’re not alone.
Steven Pressfield calls it “resistance.” Julia Cameron calls it “The Critic.” It also goes by the name “writer’s block.” Millions of people feel this every day. You are part of a community!
“We have not even to risk the adventure alone, for the heroes of all time have gone before us. The labyrinth is thoroughly known. We have only to follow the hero path.”
-Joseph Campbell.
The Artists Way, The War of Art, and The Hero With a Thousand Faces sit and stare at me on my writing desk, as a reminder that these talented writers grappled with Imposter Syndrome and won.
The strength of the creator’s community is our jab to Imposter Syndrome’s body.
2. Create, Then Create In, a Creative Space
I’ve built mine in a small corner of my apartment. My $10 Craigslist desk looks out of a window, the top half of which is obscured by a Salvador Dali collage I made out of a $3 used coffee table book and a $5 corkboard. On the wall is my glue-and-wallpaper collage of pictures and quotes cut out of a Life Magazine compilation book, across which is splattered in acrylic paint Cheryl Strayed’s reminder to “write like a m*therf*cker.” On my desk, a beautiful ornate wooden box I got for $7 holds my tarot cards.
I feel like a creative King in this space. I spent $22 on it. You don’t have to buy a paneled mahogany desk and a bouquet of fountain pens. A creative space is your space. That means it aligns with your budget and your needs, whatever those happen to be.
A cozy creative space goes a long way towards combating Imposter Syndrome. How can you be an imposter with your own mad scientist’s lab for cooking up ideas?
“The most regretful people on Earth are those who felt the call to creative work, who felt their creative power restive and uprising, and gave it neither power nor time.”
-Mary Oliver.
Don’t let yourself become regretful. Creating your own creative space gives your creativity power.
Giving our creativity power is our jab to the mouth.
3. Spoil Your Creative Self
The things that we love to do are done by the best parts of ourselves. Unfortunately, because we’re told from a young age that what we love is impractical and won’t make us any money, we end up being quite unkind to the best parts of ourselves.
Fighting imposter syndrome means opening the attic where your creative child is hiding and saying “I’m sorry for neglecting you. It’s safe to come out, I promise.”
When I finally started writing again in November, I bought myself a beautiful bougie journal (I hand-write my articles). It’s got gold leaf edges, 8x10 lined paper, and its cover is designed to look like an old Victorian book. I spent $25 on it. I was not prepared to compromise, so I didn’t order it online. I blocked out an afternoon to go looking for it, and wandered through several stores, touching journals, feeling paper quality, looking at covers. When I found the one, I could feel my creative self squealing in delight.
Buy yourself something nice that’s only for the purpose of creating something you love. Spoil your inner creator. Imposter Syndrome won’t stand a chance.
“Remember, your artist is a child. Find and protect that child. Learning to create is like learning to walk.”
-Julia Cameron
Getting something shiny for creativity is self-affirmation of the most powerful kind.
Spoiling our creative selves is our uppercut to Imposter Syndrome’s abdomen.
4. Conquer Qualification Bias.
Who are you to give others advice? You are you, that’s who. You’ve done things I haven’t. You have stories to share that I cannot imagine. These are your qualifications.
When I was struggling with my writing over the summer, I kept thinking: “what if this doesn’t help anyone? What if my experience doesn’t resonate?” I shared these fears with a trusted friend. She broke it down for me in the most beautiful way:
“Your experience will help who it helps, and it won’t help others. It will help a large audience, or it will help three people. No matter what, that’s not nothing.”
For me, that was an “oh, duh” moment. How could I not have seen this before? The people who enjoy reading me will read me because they enjoy reading me. Many others will never read what I have to say because it doesn’t apply to their lives. But some people will read it, and it will help someone.
Even if sharing your perspective only makes one person’s life a little bit better, that is completely worth it. The only way your stories and perspectives will help no one is if you don’t share them at all.
“The challenge is not to be perfect. It’s to be whole.”
-Jane Fonda.
Don’t wait until you’re qualified. Waiting for qualification is another form of procrastination. Your life is your qualification. All you have to do is tell your story.
Conquering qualification bias is our jab to the chin.
5. Forgive Yourself
There are going to be days you don’t write. Days where the problems of life choke you and try to hold you down. You will get too busy, too angry, too anxious.
Learn to forgive yourself. Life is part of the process of writing. You can’t have lived experiences to share if you’re not out there living experiences.
This is the one I struggle with the most. Our culture of productivity sometimes whips me into a frenzy of anxiety because I haven’t yet “succeeded.” I get anxious when I haven’t written in a day, and start spiraling.
“Am I wasting my potential?”
“Am I squandering my talents?”
“What if I forget how to write?”
I have a quote front and center on my writing desk:
“Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past.”
-Buddy Wakefield.
If we can forgive ourselves, that is our knockout right hook.
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